Guest blog

Her Husband Praises Her – moving gifts

As we left our last house, where we stayed for three months, and contemplated the fact we don’t know what we will call home in three months, we tried to count the numerous houses we have stayed in over the last 10 years of missionary living. Obviously I leave out holiday homes and host families. I’m thinking of houses where we stayed at least six weeks. Too long to live out of the suitcases, long enough to mess up the place mixing your belongings with those coming with the place. Am talking of houses that had nothing of your own when you walk through the front door and you can’t leave a thing behind when you walk out. Then I recalled how in many cases this was a period where you reduce the material side of life to suitcases and hand luggage that have limited and absolute limitations and it costs to cross those. And I added to the picture the endless shopping list of shoes and clothes for growing children for the year ahead. The endless weighing of options, with a kilo of cheese finally replaced by two pair of shoes.

But those furlough transitions were easy compared to leaving countries for the last time. Each and every item, inside and outside the house, has to pass before the judgment, with only three possible outcomes: carry along (how?), sell what you have (how much?), turn it into a gift (to who?). Carry along could be shipment, suitcase, or hand luggage. Selling involved questions such as when do you need it last, in what currency should we sell, and how tough of a businessperson do you become at the end of your stay? Giving was the easiest, although one needs to regard fair dealings and appropriate publicity. As we were pealing off the layers of earthly homes, the questions as to what and where next always became more pressing.

And there is more. Kids tend to become unsettled when their toys get packed and their beds are sold. Time between homes feels rather homeless. Every day you seem to run multiple threads of where what is going what time to who and for what reason. Everything starts getting lost in that big turbine of moving stress. Kids still expecting mom to pick our their favorite movie or book as if it’s still sitting on the shelf that’s long been taken down. Questions about God and where He is leading the family come into the whole mix. Daily routines are under pressure.

As I considered all this, I felt an urge to simply bring tribute to one person in our family who has been very crucial to get us through so many transitions. Not that she enjoys the chaos naturally – not at all. But I recognise how important she has been even in this current move we are making. And as I praise her, I do thank God for her and the graces he granted her.

All I said above was even besides the question how mom is doing just for herself at a time of transition. Our current one is extremely hard on her. The pain of parting and the lost of leaving take great toll. It evokes my deeper praise.

Who has wisely sorted through clothes and toys and books and school materials, making the hard decisions on what remains and what disappears? She did! Who helped our children balance between what is left behind and what waits ahead? Who organized kids parties and last time meetings for the family? She did! Who ensured there is enough food in the pantry to feed the hungry bunch without wasting any food as the days get less? She did! Who comforts kids and secures routines? Who remembers where those papers are which were not supposed to get lost, and reminds me of tons of details that I thought I could not forget? She does! That our houses became homes, that we walked in clean clothes, and that our children felt cared for and safe, even in the strangest of places – we owe it largely to her. Birthday presents bought months in advance, and weeks after departure still treats from back home. These large little things only moms do so well.

The list goes on. I’m still counting. We could never have lived the life we lived without the wife God gave so gifted.

In the gate, her husband praises her. But at home, wherever that be, he will love her.